A favorite thought....

“I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know - unless it be to share our laughter. 
We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide. Most of all we love and want to be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love.

For wanderers, dreamers, and lovers, for lonely men and women who dare to ask of life everything good and beautiful. It is for those who are too gentle to live among wolves.” 
― James Kavanaugh, "There Are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves"

Valentine Baby

Last year I observed Valentine's Day with a wonderful tribute to my awesome nieces and nephews.  I am happier now that I am a great aunt again, this time to Brooke Elizabeth, who appeared on the scene this October.  I was thinking about some of the commonalities in my extended family.  One, we love each other. Two, we have amazing children (and grandchildren.) Three, we are decent human beings, pay our taxes and go to church.  But, as I gave those thoughts a Valentines' Day twist, I thought about the insane, crazy love we have for our dogs.  They truly are family too.  Now that Kate and Molly are semi-gone, Winston fills a large part of my life.  He is truly a "people person" to those he cares about.  If he doesn't like you, you're not getting within fifty feet of us.  He's no pushover.   He loves to be with David and me, and would love to be our lap dog if we didn't have new furniture.  He keeps our feet warm at night and our hearts warm all the time.  Recently, as Maggie (our 13 year old border collie) has begun to age, he has become her special companion-guiding her through the yard and reminding her that it is time to come in.  He even lets her get on the bed at night.  It was a lucky day when he chose us as his people!  I don't know that I will ever rescue another dog.  I think as I get older, I may have to have a dog tailor-made for me.  Smaller, no-shed,  friendlier, something suitable for our "golden years"....you get the drift.  I will always be grateful for the many gifts Win brings to me.  It was my lucky day when I rescued him.  So, this Valentines' Day, kiss your spouse, hug your kids, and give your dog an extra walk.  And, if you're looking for a fur-ever friend, think about rescuing a dog.  The shelters and their residents would love you forever.

30, 45, 50

I know you all are saying....."What's up with that title?"  I also know that you, devoted readers, all fifteen of you, have eagerly been awaiting the arrival of fall and the end of my summer blog writing hiatus.  That being said, I also know you are anticipating my usual heart-felt and weepy comments about being an empty nester. Alas, no, I will spare you my musings on that...although it was sad watching Kate and the big Uhaul move to Cincinnati and Molly return to Otterbein.  The good news is, they are happy, doing well, and loving their prospective places.  No, this year I'm writing about three HUGE anniversaries...my 30th year of teaching, the 50th anniversary of Sherry Baby by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, and the 45th anniversary of the pixie haircut.  The first I never thought I'd live to see the day, the second I just can't believe, and the third I swore would never come again.
 Anniversary #30: I can't believe this is the big 3-0 of my professional life. Wow.  I am now the longest tenured teacher in my building.  I am the expert.  I am the holder of the memories and the collective culture.  I have 18 teachers asking me "how do we do this?" and "what did you do then?" I was a little panicky until I thought "WTH...I can say whatever I want!"  Yes, this stage of teaching is awesome.  I am not only the building expert,  I am now much older than the PARENTS of my students.  I can tell them anything I want as well!  Only bad part....according to first grade, I wear grandmother shoes...yikes!
Anniversary #50:  A big shout out and eternal debt of gratitude to my big sister Merc.  Yes, it was through her influence that I am a huge FV fan.  All those nights of listening to at least a stack of  5 LP albums on the stereo as we all drifted off to sleep...the Beach Boys, the Lettermen, the Association, Jan and Dean, Beatles, and more....my siblings sure set the tone that influenced my musical tastes.  No Donny Osmond or Partridge Family in our house. ( I remember when I asked my brother to get me Donny Osmond's first album, and he brought home Seals and Crofts instead.  If I forgot to thank you, I'm thanking you now.)  Frankie Valli was interviewed yesterday on NPR and he has a one man show coming to Broadway the month of October.  He also said his largest worry in those beginning days was that the public would find out many of the Four Seasons had done prison time.  Ironically, that was where they learned to play and sing.  Frankie went on to say he would keep on performing until he could no longer stand.  Although I appreciate the sentiment, I pray this isn't a metaphor for my teaching career.
Anniversary #45:  Yesterday I went to get my "sort of bobbed looking" hair cut.   I sat down and said -"Cut it off.  CUT IT ALL OFF!"  She did.  She swears it's a modern day version of the look I first sported 45 years ago.  I think I look just like my first grade picture.  So do all of my first graders.  Actually, I feel good.  I think I look like a super old first grader.  Even if I do wear grandma shoes.

http://www.npr.org/2012/09/29/161979742/frankie-valli-on-hair-products-and-finding-his-falsetto

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myIG9PEwXZw

Happy Father's Day 2012

 

Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. "Honor your father and mother" is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, "so you will live well and have a long life." Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.

Ephesians 6 - The Message

Nope, we didn't grill today.  We didn't have lots of sappy gift giving and sentimentality.  We cooked spaghetti (a yearly request) and we had cards and lots of conversation, but we didn't go over the top.   It's a hard day for the dad in this house....his own father died 35 years ago on Father's Day.  The girls and I have worked hard over the years to honor their dad, and yet remain gently sensitive about how he struggles on this paradoxical day.  David greatly honored his father today, and I'm sure he didn't even think about it.  He goes about the mission much like I think his father did...quietly, purposefully, intentionally and prayerfully.  In that vein, he touched many lives.  

Today on Father's Day while many were celebrating, David:

• set up beds for the homeless families sleeping in our church
• organized a pot luck supper for these families
• comforted and counseled a young father who may go to prison because he is out of work and can't pay child support 
• helped two little girls find temporary housing for their beloved family dog because they have no home now
• will probably be driving the dog to a foster home two hours away
• dealt with an angry congregant who had the nerve (my emphasis) to tell him that his message (the Good News of Jesus Christ)  was negative and that was causing people to leave the church...

...and at the end of the day was profoundly grateful for the rain his gardener's heart yearned for all week.

David, thanks for your heart, soul and the gifts you have given (and continue to give) to our daughters and children everywhere.  Your dad would be proud.

Placemat Paradox

To each other, we were as normal and nice as the smell of bread. We were just a family. In a family even exaggerations make perfect sense.

John Irving

I've been having a small issue with my table lately....sort of a kitchen conundrum, so to speak. It's not a riveting social issue or even a hotbed political one. Just a small, ordinary problem. Tiny in some ways, but large in other ways that only other mothers would understand. I cried over the place mats. It occurred to me while preparing for dinner, that I only needed to put out two place mats to complete the setting of our table. Four place mats were no longer necessary. My table only needed half a set. My passing thoughts were mixed....thinking that the other two I could put back to use as replacements in case of old age spills (yikes!), the thought that I didn't really need to prepare dinner anymore-we could just have cheese and crackers every night, that I could switch between "bucket, bag or box" takeout for the rest of my life, or that the evening repast would be an endless cycle of chips, slimfast, and old bagels. Somehow, the metaphor hit too close to home. The table looked too empty. Channeling my inner Scarlett O'Hara, I set the table with four place mats. I'm already preparing for spring break and the summer to follow. I know---more is changing at my house than the place mats. When the leaves fall from the trees this fall, the leaves on my table will come down too, but for now, the table's set for four.

Photography Lessons

The Fab Four (and a whole lot more)

February has arrived...the love month as some would call it. In my neck of the woods the white paper snowflakes are slowly turning into pink paper hearts. Words around me spell out: heart, friendship, hugs, and love. Who first taught me about love? As a child, I never remember being without the love of my parents, grandparents, siblings and cousins, so I can't say it was them. Marriage and children of my own has certainly taught me the most about love, but they were not the first. As it happens, the first to really teach me about love were the fab four...or as I like to think of them, the Four I Adore. Richard, Erin, Charlotte and Charles. I was an aunt for many years before I became a mom. I'll never forget the first day I saw Richard...I had just turned 17 six weeks before he was born. From the first moment I saw him, I was hooked. Then came Erin, Charlotte and Charles. With each birth, I was overwhelmed with emotion and the realization that my life was going to be joyously different. I was not only Martha daughter and Martha sister...I was now Aunt. The title changed my life. I.love.being.Aunt. Soon after the Fab Four came the Five Who Arrived . Karen, Graydon, Audrey, Giff and CiCi. It didn't take long for David's nieces and nephews to become mine as well. It continues to be a great joy to me to have these amazing, talented and wonderful children be part of my life. They continue to reveal to me that we are stronger together than we are apart, and even though they may not realize it, they provide connections that strengthen, enrich and ground me to my past and future. Jessica and Kelley, you are the Two Who Were New. Thanks for becoming family to my brother and siblings to Charlotte and Charles. You are wonderful additions to my life, and I don't think of you as new any longer. Don't worry, Brett, I didn't forget you. You make me realize that love is always changing and reconfiguring our lives and always to be open to new possibilities. Thanks for keeping my brother young at heart and loving my girls. You are the Plus One More. Lastly, a new chapter in aunting. I call these The Six in the Mix. Ross, Sarah, Caleb, Seth, Addy and Ansley. You are the new template for what is to come. I can't wait to see who will follow on your heels. I don't know exactly what to wait for, but I do know who I have to thank for making me love whatever it will be....the Four I Adore, the Five Who Arrived, the Two Who Were New, the Plus One More, and the Six in the Mix. Thank you for being my first true loves.